Recently I shared a post written by our good friend, Lisa where she announced the passing of my bride, Mary Lynne Macdonald. (See post from June 3rd) Since then I have received so many emails from my old Blog friends asking me for details and expressing their condolences.
Over the years, Mary and I have shared a lot of personal information with our readers, so I feel obliged to relate some of the details of Mary’s passing. Although the story is melancholy, I remind myself of the events of that night because it inspires me to remember that Mary died in peace exactly as she dreamed that she would go. Mary wanted to die at home, in her own bed, singing praises to her Lord and God. In a word, Mary’s wish was granted.
Here is the message I sent out to family the day after Mary’s passing:
As many of you knew, Mary has had some major health concerns for some time involving her heart, kidneys, blood pressure, and sugar levels in her blood. All of these had been addressed with medication and, for the most part, Mary was blessed with good overall health.
Still time marches on and each year brought new aches and unexplained pains. Both Mary and I had determined that we did not want to spend the last days, weeks, or even months of our lives in a hospital and would much prefer to die peacefully at home. Mary’s dream was to die in her sleep singing hymns of praise to her Savior as she slipped peacefully into her rest. Mary lived out her last dream.
I was watching a program on the History channel and Mary was watching an episode of Star Trek (generation seventeen or something) when at 7:30 she said she needed to go to the bathroom and would be right back. We had a normal day all day and had just cleaned up from a dinner that we worked on together.
Ten minutes later, Mary called to me to come back to the bedroom. When I got there I asked what was wrong and Mary told me that she was dying. Not a panicked cry, but a matter of fact statement. I said that of course she was not dying, but she said she could not breathe. Mary sometimes has panic attacks so I sat down beside her and encouraged her to breathe deeply and relax. I asked her repeatedly if she hurt somewhere or if I should call a doctor. She assured me she did not have any pain, but asked me to sing hymns for her.
For the last twenty minutes of my sweet baby’s life she listened to me sing hymns of praise to our God and Savior, Jesus Christ. By Eight o’clock her earthly body had grown cold in my arms and I laid her peacefully down on the bed.
Unfortunately, in my life I have been with many (perhaps fifty or so) individuals as they drew their last breath and passed away. I have never seen anyone pass away more peacefully than my sweet Mary did. No spasms, no wrenching pain, no screams or regrets – just a smooth transition from life into eternal life. I held her in my arms while singing praises to her Lord as she sweetly drifted away. Mary looked like she was asleep.
The authorities came and many, many good friends came to our home as the body of my sweet wife was carried away, but I will always remember the peace on her often pained face as she hummed along with me singing, “Oh, Lord, My God.”
Mary had one of the sweetest spirits I have ever known. Her heart was filled with love for her family, her Lord and Savior, and for an unworthy me. I will sorely miss her even though I know that she is at peace where she belongs. God Bless my sweet baby.
In my life it seems that every time a loved one or family member passes away, God helps to fill the void with a new life, a new smile, and new hope. Although she was born a couple of weeks before Mary’s death, I am looking to our newest grand-daughter, Mylie Macdonald to do just that.
Know this, God is good and Life goes on. Thank you all for your love and support.
On another note, people have asked me, now that Mary has passed away do you think you will move or go back to the United States? I assure them all that I will leave this home and Ecuador the same way that my sweet bride left. I am here to stay because simply…
Life is good in Ecuador!
Prayers John, Wish you the very best! So sorry for your loss. Joe Sebenick
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Thank you so much. Life goes on.
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So very sorry for your loss.
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Thank you, but not to worry, old friend. Mary went peacefully and all is well.
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John, your story brought tears to my eyes as I remembered how Ray passed away at home in bed. It wasn’t as easy as I had to call the paramedics because he could’nt breathe. When they came there were to many strangers in my house and to this day I feel they violated our privacy. There was a minister there with the fire dept. He was supposed to be there to comfort me and he couldn’t even speak the name of God. I showed him some of my favorite books and told him he needed to develope a better relationship with God or get another job.
Yours is a good story. One that most wish they could tell when such a time arrives. May God bless you and comfort you.
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The new format on WordPress confuses me, so I might have already replied this. In the event my first reply was lost, please woodtravel – let me say that your comment touched me deeply. Too many who claim to be “pastors” really do not believe in what they are saying. They read from a text for the grieving spouse without any personal feeling or knowledge. I, thankfully was surrounded by true believers. God is good. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.
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What a lovely and loving tribute to your beloved Mary. Thank you for sharing it here. My condolences on your loss. Best, Babsje
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Thank you for your sweet words of condolence. It was a blessing to be with such a good soul for sixteen years and then to be with her as she passed from this life to the next.
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This is a very beautiful post, John, for many reasons. One is that the photos you’ve shared that show the two of you over the years – always basking in the love of each other. Another is for the story of her last hours, again, basking in love – which gives comfort to anyone who cares about both of you. It’s also good to see the newest branch on the family tree – and it’s great that Mary lived to see the newest arrival, sort of like passing the torch.
The people of San Clemente are surely doting on you, and your presence helps them adjust to the absence of Mary – if you can find the positive, so can they.
You’re a light for many who know you in person or via your blog – and Mary’s light now shines on all of us.
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Lisa, you are so kind. Mary loved you so much. I love you as well.
On a side note, I took your advise and planted a tree in Memory of Mary. It is a bit overcast right now, but perhaps tomorrow I will go out and get some pictures. I also planted the last of the peppers and other plants that Mary had started in her makeshift “greenroom” (aka middle back bedroom). I will try to post those pictures tomorrow.
Be safe.
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Thinking of you during a very special time of the year here. Most likely your neighbors will be holding Mary’s memory close, and you as well. I love how they cherish this week and consider it sacred.
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